It’s really true, you can’t. At least not intentionally and doing it by accident doesn’t count. Trust me. The same applies with coaching.
Yes, we can sit in a darkened room and give ourself a stiff talking to. We can take a blank piece of paper and brainstorm some stuff that seems to be important but we really can’t take a truly objective, unbiased and realistic opinion on the things that spin around inside our heads and that is why we sometimes need help. We sometimes need coaching.
Sometimes our friends and families can help us to get some kind of perspective on life, a balance between work and play but occasionally we need someone to offer support in a way that doesn’t involve cotton wool and/or kid gloves. We need someone who can challenge our thinking who can encourage us to be brave, encourage us to grow in the way that we need to grow to be the best we can possibly be.
I remember, many years ago, a psychologist friend of mine explained to me what happens when people make a shift in their life, when people strive for something new and become who they really want to be. He said that those around us, who love us, often try to protect us by highlighting the flaws in our ideas, flagging up the dangers that could lie ahead and reminding us of the things that we might have overlooked that have the ability to cause us pain, be that emotional or physical. They do this as much for themselves as for us. For example, what if the change in you makes you lose interest in them? What if you leave them behind?How would they cope?
He went on to say that this isn’t necessarily a conscious thing but nevertheless it can promote unhelpful limiting beliefs in even the most determined, focused individual.
At various times I have employed the services of a mentor, a coach and, at one time, a psychotherapist. All of whom helped me to reach a particular goal or place in my life. I doubtless will use others in the same way in the future and for me, it has always led me to greater things that I might have ever imagined before.
So, next time you think you can go it alone with coaching your way to success, or tickling yourself for that matter, you might like to think again…